not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
