You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize