it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize