so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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