Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
