Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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