do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
