she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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