Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
