just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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