well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
