So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
