If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
