Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
