You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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