Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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