Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
