I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize