I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
