Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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