his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize