i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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