i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
