I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
