the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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