saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
