i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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