he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Boobs speak an international language.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
