I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
