Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
