Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
