The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize