His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and i looked up. we had an audience...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
