Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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