i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I need mimosas to revive my soul
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
