My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
They have beer where we have blood.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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