the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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