What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
