i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
