So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
