dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
