I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
