How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
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