I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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