I accidentally had phone sex last night
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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