College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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