I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
