she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
