Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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