i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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