i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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