She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
