fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
