you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
