I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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