i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize