just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I understand Curling. That high.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
