i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
