life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What a dumb baby whore.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
