Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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