shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
try to milk me bitch
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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