Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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