awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
