Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
