You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
