Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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